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Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

By Test User / December 18, 2024

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

It’s 4:38pm. She’s just come home and gone straig

It’s 4:38pm.

She’s just come home and gone straight to her room. Backpack on the floor. Door closed. No ‘hi mum’. You know something happened.

This isn’t a friend group blow-up. This is different. She’s being left out for being her. For her name, her skin, her hijab, her prayer, her food at lunch, her surname the other kids can’t pronounce and don’t try

Something ancient rises in you. Anger. Grief. A wish to protect her that has no clean outlet. You are grieving the wound this world just gave your child. Feel it. Then read this.

Here’s what you don’t do first…

Don’t tell her to ignore them. Don’t tell her to be the bigger person. Don’t tell her the story about your uncle who came here with nothing and worked hard. Don’t fix. All of these will land as you not seeing what actually happened.

Instead, go sit on her floor. Not the bed. The floor. Get low.

Then say this exact sentence…

“They don’t get to decide who you are. But that doesn’t stop it hurting when they try.”

Stop. Let her cry if she cries.

Later, when the raw part has passed..

“Tell me one thing they said. Not to fix it. To carry it with you.”

You do not react. Not with your face, not with your voice. You listen. You nod. You say ‘that must have felt so lonely.’ Then…

“We are not going to pretend this away. This isn’t your problem to solve. It’s ours.”

This week. Call the school. Not to complain. Email the year coordinator with what she told you, with her permission. Pattern documentation is what schools act on. The log protects her later even if the school does nothing now.

At home. Fill her life with pride in what makes her different. Not overnight. In the ordinary. Cook the food. Play the music. Tell her the stories about who she comes from. That’s the antidote. Not for the bullies. For her.

She will remember you seeing this. Not you fixing it.

- Send this to a parent whose child is coming home smaller than they left.

- Save this for the week when it starts.

🫶🏽
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#racism #religiousbullying #teenmentalhealth #raisingteens #multiculturalfamily

Save this for the day she says ‘I felt weird at sc

Save this for the day she says ‘I felt weird at school’ 🫶🏽
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#teenanxiety #teenmentalhealth #panicattacks #teenagegirls #parentingteens

t’s 7:12 pm. You’ve just caught her in another on

t’s 7:12 pm.

You’ve just caught her in another one. Small this time. Where she was. Who she was with. It doesn’t matter that it’s small. Your chest is tight because it’s the third lie this week.

Before you say anything, know this. Teens between 13 and 17 lie for one of two reasons. Either they’re testing what they can get away with, that’s development. Or they’re routing around a punishment they know is coming, that’s protection

Repeated lies are almost always the second kind. Which means harder consequences won’t stop them. Changing how you receive information will

Here’s how you tell them apart…

Ask yourself…what happens in this house when she tells the truth about something you don’t want to hear? Does she get grounded? Do you sigh loudly? Does your face change? Do you launch into a lecture within the first sentence?

If yes to any of those, her brain has learned that truth is dangerous here. So it routes around it. That’s not a moral failing. That’s a nervous system doing the maths on safety.

Tonight, don’t confront her about the lie. Confront the pattern with this exact sentence…

“I don’t want to catch you. I want you to feel safe telling me the hard stuff before I have to.”

Sit with the silence.

Then say this…

“So try this. Start with ‘this is hard to tell you.’ That’s our new rule. I promise to breathe before I react. That’s my new rule.”

You just gave her a code word AND you gave yourself an accountability line. Both are needed.

Then here’s the hardest part. When she next uses it, you have to hold up your end. Even if what she says makes you want to lose it. Especially then

Every time she tells you the truth and sees you stay soft, her brain rewires. Truth stops feeling dangerous in your house.

The lies don’t stop because you got harder. They stop because you got safer 🫶🏽

- Send this to a parent who’s about to say “why didn’t you just tell me.”

- Save this for the next lie you catch.

🌱
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#teenagegirls #teenagesons #parentingteens #raisingteens #teencounseling

For the morning after 🌱 . . . #parentingteens #rai

For the morning after 🌱
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#parentingteens #raisingteens #teencounsellor #teenmentalhealth #familymoments

For the mum about to say “you’re only 16.” . . .

For the mum about to say “you’re only 16.”
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#parentingteens #raisingteens #firstlove #teenmentalhealth #teenlove

For the parent who wants to get it right the first

For the parent who wants to get it right the first time 🌈
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#lgbtqteens #comingout #lgbtqfamilies #parentingteens #raisingteens

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