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Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT)

By jackielou7@icloud.com / December 18, 2024

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Mindfulness-Based Interventions

It’s 3:47pm and your daughter just got home from s

It’s 3:47pm and your daughter just got home from school.

She walks straight past you. Doesn’t say hi. Goes to her room and shuts the door.

You knock. “I’m fine. Just leave me alone.”

But you saw her face. You know she’s not fine.

Later you find out a rumour’s been spreading about her. Something that’s made its way through three different friend groups. Something that isn’t even close to true anymore but half the grade believes it.

And the worst part? She can’t defend herself.

Let me be clear… this isn’t just “teen drama.”

At this age their whole world is social. When they feel like everyone knows about it, it literally feels like their world is ending. Sometimes it leaves a heavy stain on their mental health.

You might be thinking…It’s just gossip. She’ll get over it.”

But to her nervous system? It registers as real danger.

Here’s what actually helps 🌱

Don’t minimise it.

“It’s not that bad” or “just ignore them” tells her you don’t get it… and she’ll stop coming to you.

Validate how big it feels.

“I know this feels like everyone is talking about you. That’s so hard.” You don’t have to fix it. Just acknowledge it’s real.

Ask… “What’s the hardest part right now?”

Not “who started it?” or “is it true?” Just… what hurts the most?

Sit with her in the discomfort.

Don’t try to make it go away. Just be there. Sometimes that’s all she needs.

Check in on her after school each day.

A simple “How was today?” can open the door. She might not answer right away but she’ll know you’re paying attention.

If the rumour could impact her reputation or standing at school… reach out…

Ask if she can have a few sessions with the school counsellor. They know the dynamics and can offer support.

And here’s what she’ll learn… the people who believe rumours without asking questions? They’re not her people. The ones who make up their mind based on gossip instead of who she actually is? She’ll outgrow them.

But right now? She just needs to know you see her. You get it… and you’re staying.

Save this and share it with a parent who needs to hear it 🫶🏽

#teen #rumors #parentingteens #parentsupport #teenmentalhealth

The thing that worries me most isn’t teens in cris

The thing that worries me most isn’t teens in crisis.
It’s the ones who are quietly struggling… while their parents have filed it under “teenage behaviour” and are waiting for the phase to pass.
Because by the time it registers as something more, a lot of time has gone.
This carousel is for every parent with a quiet, nagging feeling that something’s off… but isn’t sure what to do with it.
Swipe. And then trust that feeling.
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#teenparenting #teenmentalhealth #raisingteens #australianparents #parentingteens

Your teen is struggling. They’re staying in their

Your teen is struggling. They’re staying in their room more. They’re snapping at you. And without even thinking about it, you pull back. You get stricter. You create distance.

It feels right. It feels like what you’re supposed to do. Because it’s what was done to you.

But it doesn’t work.

I’m not here to shame you if you’ve used tough love. It’s what most were raised with. You didn’t have another option.

But if you’re willing to try something different… here’s what actually happens:

Their brain interprets your distance as rejection.
Teens don’t think “I need to try harder.” They think “I’m too much to handle.” That belief doesn’t motivate change-it creates shame.

Tough love says “figure it out yourself.”
But a teen who’s already overwhelmed doesn’t suddenly develop coping skills when you step back. They just suffer alone and stop telling you when things get worse.

It’s often recommended by the older generation or people who’ve never sat with a teen in crisis.
The advice sounds strong and logical. But when you see what it actually does to a kid who’s barely holding on, you realise it’s dangerous.

Tough love mistakes silence for improvement.
Your teen might stop arguing or asking for help. But that’s not growth-that’s shutdown.

It teaches them love is conditional.
That when they’re struggling most, the people who say they care will walk away. That becomes the map for every relationship they have.

Teens raised with tough love don’t become resilient.
They become excellent at hiding their pain. At pretending they’re fine. At not reaching out until they’re in crisis.

What actually builds resilience isn’t withdrawing…it’s staying close while holding boundaries.
“I see you’re struggling AND these limits still matter AND I’m not going anywhere.”

You can be firm and connected at the same time.
Consequences don’t work when they come with emotional abandonment. They work when they come from someone your teen knows won’t leave.

Tough love doesn’t create strong teens. It creates teens who’ve learned not to trust that anyone will stay when things get hard.

Save + Share to parents
#teentherapist #parentingteens #teenmentalhealth #raisingteens #parentingtips

“It’s not that deep.” “Chill, it was just a joke.”

“It’s not that deep.” “Chill, it was just a joke.” “You’re so dramatic.”

Someone just told you you’re overreacting. And now you’re standing there wondering if maybe they’re right. Maybe you *are* being too much. Maybe you should just let it go.

Here’s what I need you to know🌱

Being dismissed by a friend doesn’t just hurt in the moment…it teaches you to dismiss yourself. And that’s the part that does the real damage.

So here are 7 things you can say when a friend tries to minimise what you’re feeling - without shutting down, without exploding, and without abandoning yourself 💪🏽

1. Name your experience. Don’t argue it.
“I hear you see it differently…but this is how it felt for me.”
You’re not asking for permission. You’re stating a fact.

2. Don’t shrink to make them comfortable.
“This matters to me, even if it doesn’t to you.”
Their comfort is not more important than your truth.

3. Refuse the “too sensitive” accusation.
“I’d rather be honest about how I feel than pretend it didn’t affect me.”
Feeling things deeply isn’t a flaw. It’s not something you need to apologise for.

4. Bring it back to impact.
“It may not have been your intention…but it did impact me.”
Intent doesn’t erase impact. Both can be true.

5. Stop over-explaining.
You don’t owe anyone a dissertation on why you feel the way you do.
“This didn’t sit right with me.” That’s enough.

6. Set a boundary if they keep pushing.
“If we can’t talk about this respectfully, I’m going to step away.”
Then actually step away. Boundaries without follow-through teach people they don’t have to respect you.

7. Stay anchored in yourself.
You don’t need them to validate your experience for it to be real. Your feelings count. Period.

Here’s the hard part 🌱

Not everyone will get it. Some friends will keep dismissing you no matter what you say. And that’s painful…but it’s also information. It tells you who’s safe and who’s not.

Being dismissed by a friend has an impact.

But abandoning yourself to keep the friendship has a bigger one.

Your feelings aren’t up for debate.

They never were ❣️

Save + send to your teen 🫶🏽

#teenmentalhealth #parentingteens #teentherapist #raisingteens #socialskillsforkids

Your teen needs a mental health day. And the firs

Your teen needs a mental health day.

And the first thing you feel? Guilt.

Like you’re doing something wrong. Like you’re making them soft. Like other parents wouldn’t allow this.

But here’s what that guilt actually is..generational.

Most of us were raised in a “push through it” culture. Rest was something you earned after you proved you were really, truly sick.

We give sick days for the flu without question. Kid’s got a fever? Stay home. No one blinks.

But a kid carrying emotional weight they can barely hold? We expect them to just push through.

A mental health day isn’t a reward for being unwell. It’s not giving up. It’s not teaching them to avoid hard things.

It’s teaching them that their nervous system matters. That burnout is real. That rest is part of functioning.

When you let your teen take a day to reset, you’re not failing them. You’re doing something most of our parents didn’t know how to do: you’re listening.

You’re saying, “I see that you’re struggling, and I trust you to know what you need.”

And that builds resilience. Not the kind that comes from white-knuckling through every hard day,but the kind that comes from learning how to recognise your limits and respond to them with compassion.

The guilt you’re feeling isn’t because you’re doing it wrong.

It’s because you’re doing it differently than you were raised. And different feels dangerous when you’re a parent trying not to mess this up.
But you’re not
You’re making space for your kid to be human instead of performing fine when they’re not.

Yeah, maybe some people will judge you. Maybe you’ll second-guess yourself. Maybe your teen will take advantage once in a while-because they’re still learning too.

But the alternative? Forcing them to show up empty, teaching them that their feelings don’t matter, watching them learn to ignore every signal their body sends until they can’t hear it anymore?

The world didn’t give us room to fall apart. But we can give them room to rest before they do.

That’s not soft. That’s smart.

And it’s exactly what this generation needs from us.
Save + share to parents

#ParentingTeens #teenmentalhealth #parentingtips #mentalhealthmatters #consciousparenting

When your teen is struggling, the hardest question

When your teen is struggling, the hardest question to answer is: “Is this normal… or do I need to be worried?”

And the truth… most parents second-guess themselves. You don’t want to overreact, but you also don’t want to miss something serious.

You’re not overreacting for asking these questions. You’re being a good parent. Trust your instincts… and if you’re unsure, always reach out for help.

Save this so you have it when you need it. 💙
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#TeenMentalHealth #ParentingTeens #MentalHealthAwareness #CrisisSupport #AnxiousTeens

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