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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

By Test User / December 18, 2024

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT)

It’s 6:47pm You put dinner on the table. Bolognes

It’s 6:47pm

You put dinner on the table. Bolognese. The one they used to ask for. They look at it. Then, ‘how much oil did you use?

Later you notice they pushed the pasta around. Ate the mince. Left half. Third time this week they’ve asked what’s in something.

Please pay attention to this pattern…

Here’s what nobody tells parents about how eating disorders start in teens

They don’t start with ‘I want to lose weight.’

They start with questions. ‘Is that low fat.’ ‘Is that healthy.’ With cutting one thing out. ‘I’ve stopped eating bread.’ Going vegetarian when they used to love steak. With going quiet at dinner, pushing food around, eating half.

None of these on their own mean disordered eating. Kids get curious about food. The pattern is the tell. When several stack up in the same kid at once, pay attention

Tonight, don’t say ‘are you okay with your eating.’ They’ll say ‘I’m fine,’ eat two bites to prove it, then restrict harder tomorrow

Don’t say ‘you need to eat more.’ That turns dinner into a battleground and food becomes about control instead of hunger

Instead, not at dinner. Later, on the couch or in the car..

‘I’ve noticed you’ve been asking a lot about ingredients. Not making it a thing. Just checking in about what’s going on for you with food and your body.’

Then don’t push. Whatever they say, don’t argue or lecture, and don’t say they’re beautiful the way they are. That reads as dismissal

Say.. ‘Thanks for telling me. I love you when you eat pasta and I love you when you don’t. But I won’t pretend I haven’t noticed.’

When to escalate. Cutting out whole food groups. Weighing themselves or their food. Losing weight quickly. Avoiding family meals. Exercising in secret.

Then that’s a GP appointment this week. Eating disorders are among the deadliest mental health conditions there is, and early help changes everything. Ask for a referral to an eating disorder specialist.

You’re not paranoid. You’re observant. Trust the pattern.

- Send to a parent who’s been noticing

- Save for the next ‘what’s in this
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#parentingteens #eatingdisorderawareness #teenmentalhealth #raisingteens #teenagegirls

For the parent whose son seems angry all the time.

For the parent whose son seems angry all the time.

A boy’s anger is rarely about what he’s angry at. It’s usually every other feeling he was never given permission to show, coming out the only way he’s allowed.

Look past the anger. There’s almost always a scared kid underneath it.
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#boymum #boydad💙 #raisingteens #teenageson #parentingteens

It’s 7:50am. ‘I feel sick. I can’t go.’ No temper

It’s 7:50am.

‘I feel sick. I can’t go.’ No temperature. But every school morning, same thing. Sore stomach. Headache. Feeling like they might throw up

You’re starting to think they’re faking it to get out of school.

And sometimes, sure. A kid tries it on before a test they didn’t study for. That happens once.

But here’s the honest bit. From the outside, anxiety and trying it on can look almost the same. Even an anxious kid feels relief when they’re told they can stay home. So you could spend every morning trying to work out if they’re faking. Or you could look at the pattern.

A one-off is usually avoidance. But a churning stomach, week after week, real every time? Kids can’t keep that up as an act. That’s a body reacting to something it’s scared of.

Because anxiety lives in the body. In teenagers it shows up as a churning stomach, headaches, nausea, needing the toilet. No bug. No physical illness to treat. But it’s 100% real. That's what anxiety does to the body

Watch the timing. For a lot of kids it starts the night before. Sunday night dread. The night before a big day

What they’re dreading is usually something at school. A subject. A teacher. A friendship. A fear of being judged

So tonight don’t lead with ‘you’re just trying to get out of it.’ Whether it’s anxiety or avoidance, something is driving it. Believe the body and get curious. ‘I believe your tummy really hurts. Our bodies do that when something’s stressing us. Is there something about school sitting heavy?’

When to look closer. If it’s frequent, if they’re missing school, or the dread is taking over their mornings, that’s worth treating. A GP can rule out anything physical and point you toward what helps

What they’ll remember is whether you brushed it off, or whether you were the one who found the real reason

- Send to a parent who thinks their kid is faking sick

- Save for the next ‘I can’t go, I feel sick.’
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#parentingteens #raisingteens #teenmentalhealth #teenanxiety #teens

It’s 11:47pm Your teen comes out of their room wh

It’s 11:47pm

Your teen comes out of their room white. Phone in hand. Their friend’s mum just called

Their friend is in hospital. Alive. But it was close

Please don’t say ‘thank god it wasn’t you.’

Here’s what nobody tells parents about this exact moment

When a teen’s friend attempts, three things hit your teen at once

Relief their friend is alive. Guilt for missing the signs. Fear they didn’t know how to help

Underneath it, sometimes another feeling. ‘Maybe I’m not far off myself’ That’s the one to watch for

Tonight, don’t fix. Don’t lecture about mental health. Don’t ask a hundred questions

Just be there. Get the doona from their room. Sit on the couch. Say this..

‘You don’t have to talk. I’m just here. If anything comes up, I want to hear it. Even the hard bits’

Then wait

They might cry. They might rage. They might say nothing. Whatever they do, don’t argue. Don’t say ‘it’s not your fault’ as a fix. Say ‘that’s a heavy thing to carry. Tell me more’

In the days after, keep watching. Being close to someone who attempted genuinely raises a teen’s own risk. It’s real, and it’s why schools have postvention processes. For a kid who was already struggling, it can stir things up and make the unthinkable feel more possible

Signs to watch in the next few weeks

Going quieter than the situation explains. Withdrawing from the friend group. Not sleeping. Saying ‘I get it now’ or ‘it makes sense.’ Suddenly calm. Giving things away

If any show up, that’s a GP appointment this week and an honest talk with the school counsellor

If your teen says they’re thinking about it too, thank them for telling you, then get help tonight. Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800. Emergency department if there’s a plan.

Your teen won’t be the same for a while. That’s normal. Grief for what almost happened counts as grief.

- Send to a parent whose kid just got that call

- Save for the night your gut says it’s not over
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#parentingteens #teenmentalhealth #raisingteens #teenagegirls #teenageson

For the parent who’s warned their kid about drugs

For the parent who’s warned their kid about drugs but never asked what they might be trying to escape.

Kids don’t get hooked chasing a high. They get hooked chasing relief from something they can’t carry.

The warning that protects them isn’t ‘don’t.’ It’s ‘come to me with the pain first.’

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#parentingteens #raisingteens #addiction #teenmentalhealth #raisingboys

FRIENDSHIP SERIES · Pt 3 - Save this for your tee

FRIENDSHIP SERIES · Pt 3

- Save this for your teen who’s always the one holding a friend together.

- Send it to a parent whose kid is everyone’s emotional support 🫶🏽
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#teens #friendshipreels #parentingteens #raisingteens #teengirl

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