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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

By Test User / December 18, 2024

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT)

Your teen hasn’t spoken to you properly in two day

Your teen hasn’t spoken to you properly in two days.

They’re not yelling. They’re not crying. They’re doing the dishes loudly, giving one-word answers and responding to everything with “fine”

You know something is wrong. They won’t tell you what

This is passive aggression…And most teens aren’t doing this to be difficult

They do it because they don’t feel safe saying what they actually mean

Sometimes direct conflict feels risky. Sometimes they’ve tried before and it didn’t go well. Sometimes they’ve learned that having needs creates tension… so they got quiet and started expressing them indirectly instead

The teenage brain is still developing the tools for direct emotional communication. That’s not an excuse. It’s a context.

Here’s why it matters long term…

A teenager who learns to express anger through silence, sarcasm, and withdrawal will take that pattern into every relationship they have. Passive aggression in adulthood erodes trust, creates resentment, and forces people to constantly guess what they’re feeling. That is exhausting for everyone involved, including them.

So what do you do…

Don’t chase the behaviour. Chasing the silence or getting louder reinforces the dynamic.

Name what you see without accusation. “I’ve noticed you’ve gone quiet. I’m not going to push. But when you’re ready…I’m here and I can handle it.”

Model direct communication yourself. “I felt hurt when that happened. I want to talk about it when we’re both calm.” You’re teaching them that feelings can be said out loud without the world ending

When they do open up… don’t lecture. Don’t fix. Just receive it. The goal is that direct communication feels safer than the alternative.

This is a skill they are still learning. And you are the most important teacher they have 🫶🏽

- Save this

- Does your teen do this?

- You’re not alone…. share with a parent navigating the same thing

#ParentingTeens #TeenMentalHealth #TeenTherapist #RaisingTeens #ParentingAdvice

Knowing a relationship isn’t good for you doesn’t

Knowing a relationship isn’t good for you doesn’t make it easier to leave.

If that was enough, nobody would ever stay. But the pull isn’t coming from logic. It’s coming from the nervous system. And you can’t think your way out of a nervous system response

So what actually helps…

Name what’s happening. The moment you can say “this is intermittent reinforcement… my brain is chasing the good moments” … you create a tiny gap between the feeling and the action. That gap is where change starts. Language is the beginning of everything.

Ask one question. “Is this familiar… or is this safe?” They feel different. Familiar often comes with adrenaline, anxiety, and the need to keep proving yourself. Safe feels quieter. It can feel boring at first… because calm isn’t what the nervous system learned to recognise as love

Wait before you go back. The craving to reach out is strongest in the first few hours. If you can wait 24 hours, it reduces. Same mechanism as any addiction. You’re not ignoring the feeling… you’re not letting the feeling make the decision.

Find one relationship that feels consistently safe. A friend. A family member. A mentor. The nervous system learns new patterns through repetition and safety. Every consistent, kind relationship is evidence that love doesn’t have to feel like a rollercoaster.

Notice the body. Anxious attachment lives in the body… the checking of the phone, the tight chest, the overthinking. These are information, not emergencies. Learning to notice them without acting on them immediately is a skill. And it gets easier.

These aren’t cures. They’re starting points

The research is clear… attachment patterns can change. Not overnight. But they change through new experiences, safe relationships, and understanding what the old pattern was actually about.

And understanding starts here

- Save this for a teenager who needs practical tools right now

- Share with a parent navigating this with their teen

Link in bio for more tools ‘Why They Go Back’

#TeenMentalHealth #AttachmentTheory #ParentingTeens #TeenTherapist #RaisingTeens

What looks like defiance is often a teenager tryin

What looks like defiance is often a teenager trying to say something they don’t have the words for yet. Decode the behaviour, and you find the message underneath 🫶🏽
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#TeenMentalHealth #ParentingTeens #TeenTherapist #RaisingTeens #ParentingAdvice

It’s 2:14am. Everyone else is asleep. You’re not.

It’s 2:14am. Everyone else is asleep. You’re not.

You’re typing things into your phone you’d never say out loud… “is this normal,” “is my teen ok,” “did I do this.” The blue light. The scroll. The spiral.

I’m not here to tell you to put the phone down and go to sleep, even though you probably should

I’m here to tell you what I wish someone had told the parents I sit across from before they got to 2am.

The fact that you’re up worrying about them is not a sign you’re failing. It’s a sign you’re paying attention. Most of the parents who are genuinely getting it wrong aren’t awake wondering if they are.

What you’re searching for… a label, a diagnosis, a reason… won’t give you what you actually need, which is to feel less alone in this.

The thing that’s keeping you up tonight almost always means less than it feels like at 2am. Things look catastrophic in the dark that look workable by morning. That’s not denial. That’s just what exhaustion does to perspective.

What helps more than another search…,

Write the actual worry down… one sentence, in the morning light. Take it to someone who knows your teen, or someone trained to help you make sense of it. Not a forum of strangers guessing in the dark. Let tonight be for resting, not solving. The solving happens better with a clear head and someone in your corner.

You’re not the only parent doing this tonight. And you won’t find the answer in another tab… you’ll find it in the morning, with rest, and with someone beside you who’s done this before.

Save this for the next 2am. Send it to a parent who needs to know they’re not the only one.

#TeenMentalHealth #ParentingTeens #TeenTherapist #RaisingTeens

Little bit of growth 🤌🏽🚀 . . . Life is not linear

Little bit of growth 🤌🏽🚀
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Life is not linear and it’s ok to take some detours that help you learn and grow.

Link in bio to ‘Why They Go Back’ - decodes attachment theory for a teen audience, translating complex neuroscience and psychology into clear, compassionate language.
Inside
• Discover the four attachment styles and identify their own relational patterns
• Understand the neuroscience behind why inconsistent relationships feel addictive
• Learn 10 evidence-based strategies grounded in research
And more…

#reels #mentalhealth #mom #therapy #teens

The signs your teen is struggling don’t always loo

The signs your teen is struggling don’t always look like what you’d expect. Some of them look like nothing at all. Here’s what to watch for… before it becomes a crisis.

And if something feels off… trust that. You know your kid.

#TeenMentalHealth #ParentingTeens #TeenTherapist #AtRiskYouth #RaisingTeens

Counselling for a brighter tomorrow.

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