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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

By jackielou7@icloud.com / December 18, 2024

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

“It’s not that deep.” “Chill, it was just a joke.”

“It’s not that deep.” “Chill, it was just a joke.” “You’re so dramatic.”

Someone just told you you’re overreacting. And now you’re standing there wondering if maybe they’re right. Maybe you *are* being too much. Maybe you should just let it go.

Here’s what I need you to know🌱

Being dismissed by a friend doesn’t just hurt in the moment…it teaches you to dismiss yourself. And that’s the part that does the real damage.

So here are 7 things you can say when a friend tries to minimise what you’re feeling - without shutting down, without exploding, and without abandoning yourself 💪🏽

1. Name your experience. Don’t argue it.
“I hear you see it differently…but this is how it felt for me.”
You’re not asking for permission. You’re stating a fact.

2. Don’t shrink to make them comfortable.
“This matters to me, even if it doesn’t to you.”
Their comfort is not more important than your truth.

3. Refuse the “too sensitive” accusation.
“I’d rather be honest about how I feel than pretend it didn’t affect me.”
Feeling things deeply isn’t a flaw. It’s not something you need to apologise for.

4. Bring it back to impact.
“It may not have been your intention…but it did impact me.”
Intent doesn’t erase impact. Both can be true.

5. Stop over-explaining.
You don’t owe anyone a dissertation on why you feel the way you do.
“This didn’t sit right with me.” That’s enough.

6. Set a boundary if they keep pushing.
“If we can’t talk about this respectfully, I’m going to step away.”
Then actually step away. Boundaries without follow-through teach people they don’t have to respect you.

7. Stay anchored in yourself.
You don’t need them to validate your experience for it to be real. Your feelings count. Period.

Here’s the hard part 🌱

Not everyone will get it. Some friends will keep dismissing you no matter what you say. And that’s painful…but it’s also information. It tells you who’s safe and who’s not.

Being dismissed by a friend has an impact.

But abandoning yourself to keep the friendship has a bigger one.

Your feelings aren’t up for debate.

They never were ❣️

Save + send to your teen 🫶🏽

#teenmentalhealth #parentingteens #teentherapist #raisingteens #socialskillsforkids

Your teen needs a mental health day. And the firs

Your teen needs a mental health day.

And the first thing you feel? Guilt.

Like you’re doing something wrong. Like you’re making them soft. Like other parents wouldn’t allow this.

But here’s what that guilt actually is..generational.

Most of us were raised in a “push through it” culture. Rest was something you earned after you proved you were really, truly sick.

We give sick days for the flu without question. Kid’s got a fever? Stay home. No one blinks.

But a kid carrying emotional weight they can barely hold? We expect them to just push through.

A mental health day isn’t a reward for being unwell. It’s not giving up. It’s not teaching them to avoid hard things.

It’s teaching them that their nervous system matters. That burnout is real. That rest is part of functioning.

When you let your teen take a day to reset, you’re not failing them. You’re doing something most of our parents didn’t know how to do: you’re listening.

You’re saying, “I see that you’re struggling, and I trust you to know what you need.”

And that builds resilience. Not the kind that comes from white-knuckling through every hard day,but the kind that comes from learning how to recognise your limits and respond to them with compassion.

The guilt you’re feeling isn’t because you’re doing it wrong.

It’s because you’re doing it differently than you were raised. And different feels dangerous when you’re a parent trying not to mess this up.
But you’re not
You’re making space for your kid to be human instead of performing fine when they’re not.

Yeah, maybe some people will judge you. Maybe you’ll second-guess yourself. Maybe your teen will take advantage once in a while-because they’re still learning too.

But the alternative? Forcing them to show up empty, teaching them that their feelings don’t matter, watching them learn to ignore every signal their body sends until they can’t hear it anymore?

The world didn’t give us room to fall apart. But we can give them room to rest before they do.

That’s not soft. That’s smart.

And it’s exactly what this generation needs from us.
Save + share to parents

#ParentingTeens #teenmentalhealth #parentingtips #mentalhealthmatters #consciousparenting

When your teen is struggling, the hardest question

When your teen is struggling, the hardest question to answer is: “Is this normal… or do I need to be worried?”

And the truth… most parents second-guess themselves. You don’t want to overreact, but you also don’t want to miss something serious.

You’re not overreacting for asking these questions. You’re being a good parent. Trust your instincts… and if you’re unsure, always reach out for help.

Save this so you have it when you need it. 💙
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#TeenMentalHealth #ParentingTeens #MentalHealthAwareness #CrisisSupport #AnxiousTeens

It’s 8:42am and your kid is still in bed. School

It’s 8:42am and your kid is still in bed.

School starts in 18 minutes. You’ve asked them to get up four times. You’re thinking about the attendance, your work, whether this is manipulation or a breakdown. Your chest is tight. You don’t know if you should drag them out or call a doctor.
Let me be clear: I’m not here to shame you if you’ve made them go anyway.
Maybe you had a meeting you couldn’t miss. Maybe you didn’t know what else to do. Maybe you were scared that if you gave in once, they’d never go back. I get it. Most parents have been there.
But if you have the space… even just this once.. here’s what actually helps:

Their nervous system is telling them school isn’t safe right now. Maybe it’s a test. Maybe it’s someone in their class. Maybe it’s the fluorescent lights and the noise and pretending to be “fine” when they’re not. It’s not laziness. It’s not you. It’s overload.

Don’t force them into the car if you can avoid it.
I know the pressure is real. But coercion damages trust faster than anything else. And when things get harder (and they might), you’ll need that trust.

Stay calm even if you’re faking it.
Your panic doubles theirs. Even if you’re screaming inside, try to keep your voice steady.
Ask: “What’s making today feel impossible?”
Not “Why are you doing this to me?” Just - what’s hard right now?

Validate without rescuing.
“I hear you. This feels really big.” You don’t have to fix it. Just acknowledge it’s real.

Offer a compromise if you can.
“Can you go for two periods? Just homeroom?” Sometimes breaking the all-or-nothing thinking is enough.
If they still can’t go and you have the option to let them stay…don’t punish.
No lecture. No guilt. No “after everything I do for you.”
Just…“Today was hard. Let’s figure out what you need for tomorrow.”
Call the school.
Say it’s a mental health day.
Don’t make home a party.
No screens as a reward. Just rest. You’re not teaching them staying home is better - you’re teaching them they can land somewhere soft when they’re overwhelmed.
And if this is becoming a pattern, get help. Therapist or school counsellor can help.
Save + Share to parents
#TeenAnxiety #ParentingTeens #SchoolRefusal #TeenTherapist

If your teen is calm and polite at school but lose

If your teen is calm and polite at school but loses it the second they walk through the door, you’re not failing as a parent.

You’re the safe person.

Masking takes enormous energy. Suppressing anxiety, managing peer dynamics, appearing “fine” when everything feels hard… it’s exhausting. By the time they get home, their nervous system is overloaded and they have nothing left to give.

The meltdown isn’t disrespect. It’s release.

So when they snap, withdraw, or cry over something small… it’s not about that moment. It’s about the weight of holding themselves together all day in a place that doesn’t feel safe to be vulnerable.
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#ParentingTeens #RaisingTeens #TeenTherapist #ParentingAdvice #TeenBehavior

1. Don’t say “No you don’t” Instead of: “You don’

1. Don’t say “No you don’t”

Instead of:
“You don’t hate me. Don’t ever say that again.”

Try this:
“You’re really angry with me right now.”

WHY THIS WORKS:
When you argue with their feelings, they argue harder.
When you name the feeling underneath, you defuse it.
They don’t actually hate you. They hate how they feel in that moment.

2. Don’t defend yourself

Instead of:
“After everything I do for you, this is how you talk to me?”

Try this:
Stay quiet. Breathe. Let the words land without reacting.

WHY THIS WORKS:
They’re trying to get a reaction. If you take the bait, the fight escalates.
Your calm tells them: “I can handle your big feelings. You’re safe here.”

3. Don’t punish the feeling

Instead of:
“Go to your room. You’re grounded for a week.”

Try this:
“I can see you’re upset. We’ll talk when we’ve both calmed down.”

WHY THIS WORKS:
Punishing them for expressing anger teaches them to hide it next time.
You want them to feel safe telling you when they’re struggling—even when it’s messy.

4. Don’t take it personally

Instead of:
Replaying it in your head all night, wondering where you went wrong.

Try this:
Remind yourself: “This is about their pain, not my worth as a parent.”

WHY THIS WORKS:
Teens lash out at the people they feel safest with.
“I hate you” often means “I’m overwhelmed and you’re the only one I can fall apart in front of.”

5. Don’t leave it unrepaired

Instead of:
Pretending it didn’t happen or waiting for them to apologise first.

Try this (later, when calm):
“That was a tough moment earlier. I’m here when you’re ready to talk.”

WHY THIS WORKS:
Repair teaches them that conflict doesn’t mean disconnection.
It shows them: we can have hard moments and still be okay.

You don’t have to respond perfectly.

You just have to:
✔ stay calm when they’re not,
✔ not punish them for big feelings,
✔ and come back later to repair.

“I hate you” is almost never about hate.

It’s about a teen drowning in feelings they don’t have words for yet.

Your job is to stay steady while they fall apart.

Save this. Send this to another parent who needs it.

#parentingteens #parentingadvice #mentalhealth #teens #emotinal

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