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Self-Care Journal

By Test User / December 29, 2024

FREE Impacts of Social Exclusion

For the parent who child is starting high school n

For the parent who child is starting high school next year 🫶🏽
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#parentingteens #raisingteens #teencounsellor #teenanxiety #teenage

For the mum who was that 14 year old, too 🫶🏽 . . .

For the mum who was that 14 year old, too 🫶🏽
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#teenparenting #parentingsupport #teen #parentingtipsandtricks #parenting

It’s 9:14pm. You went in to say goodnight… and i

It’s 9:14pm.

You went in to say goodnight… and instead of “love you too, mum”, they said something like “I don’t think I’m okay.”

Your brain went blank

Here’s what happens in the next 90 seconds, and what you do matters more than you think

First. Do not fix. Do not solve. Do not immediately say “let’s book you a therapist tomorrow.”

They just did the hardest thing they’ve done all year. They opened a door. If the first thing out of your mouth is a plan, they’ll hear that as pressure. They’ll close the door… and it might not open again for months

Instead, this…

Sit down. On the bed, on the floor, wherever they are. Get lower than they are if you can.

Then say this, exactly…

“Thank you for telling me. I’m not going anywhere.”

Stop. Don’t say anything else. Let it sit.

They’ll either keep talking, or cry, or go quiet. Whichever one it is, you match it. If they talk, you listen. If they cry, you stay. If they go quiet, you say “I’m right here, love, take your time.”

Then, only when they’re ready, you ask one question. Not five.

“Can you tell me what ‘not okay’ has been feeling like?”

Not “why”. Not “what happened”. “What has it been feeling like.”

That question invites description without asking them to explain themselves.

The plan comes later. The referral comes later. The talk with dad, the school, the doctor, all of that comes later

Tonight, your only job is to prove that “I’m not okay” is a sentence they can safely say in your house

If you can do that, they’ll keep saying it… and that’s what saves lives

- Send this to a parent who’s terrified this conversation is coming.

- Save this for the moment you never expected.

🫶🏽

#parentingteens #raisingteens #teenmentalhealth #teensuicideprevention #teendepression

The reason most parents don’t initiate the repair

The reason most parents don’t initiate the repair is the same reason most teens don’t either. It feels exposing. You don’t know if they’ll meet you halfway or roll their eyes and walk out of the room.

You go anyway

What I want parents to know about repair: you’re not doing it for the apology. You’re doing it for the lesson. Even if your teen says nothing. Even if they walk away. Even if you have to do it three times before they let you in.

Because what your teen is learning isn’t “mum admits when she’s wrong.”

What they’re learning is what a person does when they’ve hurt someone they love.

That’s the lesson they’ll take into every relationship they ever have.

Worth doing even when it’s awkward 🫶🏽

Save this for the morning after a hard night
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#parentingteens #raisingteens #parentingafteryelling #repairparenting #consciousparenting

🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 . . . #parentingteens #raisingteens #teenme

🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
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#parentingteens #raisingteens #teenmentalhealth #adolescentbrain #teenbrain

The slides give you the alternative. This is the

The slides give you the alternative.

This is the part that’s harder.

Most of us grew up grounded. It’s the default move. It feels like doing something… which, when you’re a parent at the end of your rope, is the only thing you have energy for

But here’s what makes the alternative harder than grounding… it asks you to stay in the room with your teen instead of sending them to their bedroom and closing the door.

It asks you to have the actual conversation about what happened…Why they did it… What they were trying to manage…. What they’d do differently… That’s a much harder ten minutes than two weeks of grounding ever was

The reason grounding feels like the answer is because it gives YOU a break. It doesn’t change anything for them. It just buys you fourteen days of not having to deal with the harder version.

That’s not a moral failure….That’s a tired parent doing the only thing they have left

But if you have energy for the harder version… even some days, not every day… your teen learns the lesson grounding skips. Which is that consequences are real, and that you’re someone they can think out loud with.

- Save this for the next time grounding is the only thing you can think of

What did grounding teach you, growing up?

Free resources for parents in my bio

#parentingteens #raisingteens #parentingbeyondpunishment #consciousparenting #parentingsupport

Counselling for a brighter tomorrow.

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